Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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