I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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