I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize