...so i touched it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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