think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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