I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
