Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
