if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
