Pappa wants mamma naked
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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