I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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