It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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