Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
