Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
