about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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