Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I understand Curling. That high.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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