Are we in a gay sports bar?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
