I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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