He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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