I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
