I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
