She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
