Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Little spoons don't ask big questions
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I am available for nakedness
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
