just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
