i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Buhtt sex?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
