I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
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If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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