please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
