Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
