All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
