So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
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