pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
