i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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