All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
