Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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