i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
