this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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