i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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