There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
