I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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