he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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