Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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