She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
