Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Found the puke drawer
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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