People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
