somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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