She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
