I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
