we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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