my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
this hospital has no fireball
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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