Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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