where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
