I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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