If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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