I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
