How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
