he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
