We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
