okay pat passed out under dana's car
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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