Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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