Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
