so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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