my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
