I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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