I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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