Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dignity is for republicans.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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