So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
