I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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