I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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