the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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