Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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